Wu Dalang was king. Can you trust him?

2022-07-17 0 By

After saying Pan Jinlian falls in love with Ximen, Wu Dalang is very angry, but he also really can’t.Dozen, dozen however west door qing, say, Pan Jinlian does not listen to again.Shi can kill not disgrace, angry, Wu Dalang decided to commit suicide in the Yellow River.He floated in and out of the water, and was carried to several islands.Local fishermen will pick him up, found that there is a breath, hurriedly do artificial respiration, the dying Wu Dalang saved.The fishermen were overjoyed and told each other that there was a tall, handsome and powerful man on the island. Our ancestors were all so short for generations. We should use the height advantage of this man to improve our race and push him as our king.So Wu Dalang became king.Three palaces six hospitals seventy-two concubines, Wu Dalang soon had a large group of princes.These princes dispersed to the populace and married common women, and from then on the height of the inhabitants increased significantly.Wu Dalang had been king and had been very diligent at first.Every day is “something to leave early, nothing to leave early.”After a while, he found it very boring that officials talked about trifles for a long time.Then he said, “Prepare for me a review of the important parts of the matter.”The officials were surprised and said what was written?We can’t read. We can’t write.Wu Dalang said, well, I do a cram school for everyone, sweep illiteracy.So with his limited knowledge, he opened literacy classes for officials to learn the written word.But Wu Dalang is a cake seller, only know a few words, a lot of words only remember some partial parts.As officials learned and spread the word, they forgot parts of the characters, and this created a “false” script: Hiragana, katakana, etc.It’s an important part of the country’s culture.After Wu Dalang carried out this reform, it was supported by more people.One day he found that his subjects had no names.So he said, no, we have to have a name.Of course, zhao Qian Sun Li you can not call, who lives where the surname.Hence the names tanaka, Matsushita and Yamaguchi.As for names, “one, two, three, four”.But the eldest can not be called “big Lang”, that violates my taboo, can only be called “taro”, the second can not be called “Erlang”, that violates my brother Wu Erlang’s taboo, can only be called “second lang”.The rest of you go in order. That’s fine with me.Hence the country had such names as taro Yamaguchi and Jiro Tanaka.After wu Dalang became king, he was tired of all kinds of delicacies.He remembered that when he had been adrift on the sea, he had nothing to eat but fish to eat raw.Looking back, it tasted pretty good.So he asked his chef to make sure that the fish was only raw, not cooked.After it was promoted, the dish was warmly embraced by people all over the country and has since become a national dish.Wu Dalang also discovered that the local people still sleep on beds, just like the Chinese.He is very angry, think at the outset since Pan Jinlian and Ximen qing made after extramarital love, Ximen Qing often comes to his home, make oneself have no place to sleep, have to sleep on the ground.My king can only sleep on the ground, and so can you!This * hardships * can not forget to take his wife’s shame!So he issued a decree to that effect.From then on, the people of the country had to sleep on MATS called tatami.In China, wu dalang thought, being king was a magnificent thing, with all the people and flags flying everywhere.We don’t even have a symbol in this country. It’s boring.So he took out the apron from which he had been selling baked bread, and had his eunuchs wash it. It was still white, and he used it for a flag.There must be a sign on the flag.Wu Dalang head of all the impression, only sold baked cakes.So he baked a red, round burnt cake and stuck it in the middle of the apron.This became the flag of the island nation.Wu Dalang served as king for several years, but died without suffering an illness.When he is dying, still because beat nevertheless West door to celebrate, newspaper can not seize the enemy of his wife and geng Yu huai, then leave instructions, want descendants to seek west door to celebrate revenge.His descendants later day fuck night to practice, and to the shaolin temple to steal a few action, in order to commemorate king wu3 da4 lang2, named “Wu Shi dao” (later due to the low degree of culture learning kung fu, plus is a “false words”, in the language of that country is reported “bushido”), and because wu3 da4 lang2 is nothing to the world, the kung fu is also known as “karate.To the early Ming dynasty, wu descendants began to send people landed in mainland China, looking for Revenge Ximen Qing, but was za hero Qi Jiguang drove into the sea, that is the history of the “anti-japanese”.Into the 20th century, the Wu people in China from north to south, from east to west, trampled over most of our rivers and mountains, but still did not find their enemy Ximen Qing.So they actually asked the Chinese to learn their “fake” language, to give them names like theirs, and to realize “greater East Asian co-prosperity” under the banner of “Apron burning cake”.This is really let at that time in the battlefield can not win the Chinese laugh off the teeth.Recently, Wu Dalang’s descendants are said to have reliable information, suspect that Xi Menqing lived in seclusion in Fujian area, so fujian opposite the Diaoyu Island, as if all day long someone there to sell baked cakes